Reply to Caved and we got a dog , big mistake

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Caved and we got a dog , big mistake "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, is the dog a puppy? Puppies are REALLY hard, and our beloved dog almost broke me mentally when he was a puppy, but it does get better.

That said, as should be clear from all of the other responses by now, you do have a husband problem. When the kids go to bed one night, have a serious heart to heart with him. The dog NEEDS to be trained. The dog NEEDS to be fed, walked, groomed. Ask him: is he going to step up, or does he agree with you that this may have been a mistake?[/quote]

Beware though, what your DH wants is your attention.  IF you 'make' him participate he will (can only) do so as he pleases (himself) at this point because he's immature and not emotionally able to step up to the responsibility of caring for another creature.  Think about how he has 'pleased' himself to handle all of the other responsibilities that you have asked him to participate in and then strategize accordingly about how you want to proceed with caring for (and care about) your dog (and your husband).  How many times have you 'expected' your husband to 'get with the program'.  He's trying to get you to 'get with his program' and your family's dog is now a new front to argue over his (DH) needs as a proxy war on the subject of the dog's needs.  The losers will be all three of you: you, your husband and your dog, with your kids bearing witness and waiting to see who 'wins'.

There are trainers who will take/board and train your dog and then teach you how to keep the training going.  Do not kid yourself about your whether the situation you are in is reasonable or not.

The mistake was not getting the dog.  The mistake is treating your DH like he can reasonably participate in the decision making.  He can't.  If he could reasonably participate you would not be in the position you are, and you would not have a dog.

Is your dog another living creature needing love and kindness or another problem needing your attention?

If your DH is 'another problem needing your attention' he will find ways to make you pay (negative attention) to him and give him what he most wants ('love and kindness' from who... first it was you, then it was kids, then it was a dog, who/what next can fulfill his needs for negative attention?  You or some new 'thing' or someone else 'new'?  Ultimately, your dog won't be able to give him the love he wants, so he'll have to find another front to open up for your ongoing attention.  [/quote]

Get rid of the dog

Don’t rely on your ManChild husband for anything. Maybe his paycheck but that’s it.

Create a good network of friends and neighbors. Rely on them.

Raise your children to be strong and independent. Protect them meanwhile.

Disassociate but be civil to your ManChild. But have zero expectations regarding his ability or capability to take care of anything inanimate or animate.

Practice significant self care.

Be ready to divorce said ManChild. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics