Reply to Therapy for Infidelity

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This doesn’t not sound helpful or productive.  In fact, it sounds tremendously damaging, compounding your pain by gaslighting your into believing it’s not that big a deal.  Toxic positivity at its worst.  No, you are not going to find “joy in the journey” right now.

I would find a new therapist, STAT.[/quote]

yes it feels like toxic positivity. I will look for another therapist then. Thanks.[/quote]

Look for a therapist that has extensive experience with betrayal trauma and PTSD, or bereavement.  You have encountered, and are experiencing, and will continue to experience, a very significant loss.  Your DH is not who you thought he was, and therefore your life is not what you thought it was.  Your DH lied and that's how he copes with his life.  To survive, with you in his life, he has to learn a whole new set of coping mechanisms.  For you to survive, you have to learn how to cope with your grief.  Time does not heal grief, time can only allow for different perspectives to hopefully emerge, and evolve, regarding loss.

I'm sorry you are going through this situation unexpectedly.  No one plans for themselves to be betrayed.  It's a horrible, unfathomable reality until it happens.

"Why Won't You Apologize" is another book to consider for some grounded advice.

[/quote]

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