Reply to Very creepy Metro story

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Very creepy Metro story"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're attracting creeps, it's something YOU'RE putting out.

insecurity?  vulnerability?

It's not blame; it's all about empowering.

By allowing someone to invade your space/personal thoughts, it is indeed making you appear to be a victim.

How hard is it to move?  or to tell him to fuck off?

[quote=Anonymous]I cannot BELIEVE the victim blaming that is going on in this thread!

People, this woman was SEXUALLY HARASSED on the metro. Freezing up when someone is harassing you is a totally normal reaction. I bet that a lot of you bragging about your "don't fuck with me face" and calling the OP dumb would freeze up too if you experienced some of the things related in this thread. You want to know why people don't report this kind of behavior more often? Because when they do, people call them dumb and imply that they are responsible for being harassed. If the OP had come here with a story of this guy harassing her and her reaction being "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!", people would be talking about how she didn't know what his intentions were and should have been more polite.

OP, I feel for you.[b] I also seem to attract creeps on public transit.[/b] My strategy is usually to ignore them completely or get up and move to another car. It's not hard to get from one car to another when the train stops at a station, but there is always the fear that any kind of rebuff of the harasser on your part will lead to them escalating or going completely crazy.

The bottom line is that it's hard to stand up for yourself when someone makes you feel uncomfortable and trapped, even if you are otherwise confident.[/quote][/quote]

I have been told my whole life that I am "too nice," and that I attract creeps because of an aura of vulnerability.  This is not a new problem.  Seeing all the different comments has been very educational.

(OP again)

If this guy had come up like evil incarnate, I think I would have had more gumption.  But he started by asking about the baby, and telling me about his kids, how one of his daughters is a teacher and another is at an Ivy League school and stuff.  He said that he is often discriminated against for his dark skin and his beard, and people treat him badly and call him a terrorist, and how nice it was that I was willing to have a nice conversation.  My own husband looks Middle Eastern, so I understood that perspective, and I felt an extra obligation to chit chat with him.  And then, all of a sudden, when he started complaining about his wife, he dropped his voice, so I thought I must have misunderstood him--surely he didn't just say what I think he said!

And then I thought, maybe this is a cultural thing.  I don't know.  It was so outrageous.  Then he was back to talking about his kids.  His tone stayed the same--just your friendly neighborhood Turkish man talking to the nice pregnant lady.  And then when it dawned on me that he was actually propositioning me, it again just seemed ridiculous.  Made no sense.

By the time it got really creepy, I was flustered and taking refuge in exaggerated politeness.  Wrong, I know, but I just didn't figure things out quickly enough.

My husband has both prosecuted and defended all kinds of perverts in the military, and I could tell lots of stories.  (They universally go back to porn.  These men really truly think women want them (the perpetrators) to do/say what they do.)  I'm not naive, but I have a temperament that has a super hard time saying no to ANYTHING.  Add in my childish face and voice, and I have a problem.

I wish things were different.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics