Reply to s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?

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Reply to "s/o: sexless marriages, did you know this happens often?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me, it's the buildup of emotional baggage in a marriage that decreases the desire to have sex.  It's not physical.   If I were single again, I know I'd love sex with other men.  When you are dating and a man does something mean or stupid, you can easily break up with him and start fresh.   When you are married with kids, you put up with more (at least I do).  I don't think men allow those hurts to build up enough to interfere with sex.   [/quote]

This is usually the case.  Emotional baggage and resentment are the killer.  Men move on from disagreements more easily.  My divorced friends are going at it like rabbits again.  From this vantage point, it does seem less messy to just have the affair and get it out of your system.  Such a shame the supposed ethical way to have sex again is divorce.[/quote]

No.  The ethical way is to work with your spouse to rekindle.  Marriage desire has ebbs and flows.  It can come back just as strong.  You essentially will be divorced when you go down the affair road...and the divorce will be more contentious due to the cheating and lies.[/quote]

Your "ethical way" requires a wife's willingness to let go of some emotional baggage. If she can't or won't, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. 
In case of sexless marriage, the concept of "potential divorce if affair gets discovered" is completely irrelevant.  Because,[b] given the fact that men cannot go celibate, [/b]sexless marriage EQUALS divorce. So there is no "risk" of divorce, zero downside of an affair, only upside because the sexless marriage has been saved from certain divorce.[/quote]

this is untrue.

Plenty of men go without sex. [/quote]

I agree.  
The poster above you is nuts.  I wonder what his position is on rape or pedophilia.  What if you are only attracted to prepubescent children? Is it possible to go without sex?  What if you can’t find a person who wants to have sex with you?  Is it possible to go without sex?  [/quote]

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