Reply to Flame Me: I don't think affairs are generally a big deal

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Reply to "Flame Me: I don't think affairs are generally a big deal"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Religion, sanctity of marriage, family of origin and values.  I see drastically different views.  It's easy to see why somebody that thinks it is 'no big deal' would never be able to understand somebody that requires 'no lies and honesty' in a marriage. Going behind a spouse's back and outright lying to their face is very serious and the lack of moral code/character for somebody to do that is not something I could accept in somebody I pledged to love, respect and cherish. No thanks.[/quote]

Marriage is long. The theory or idea of it is drastically different than the lived reality of it. Sometimes you go through a dark time and make bad choices.

Is marriage then, only for those who have easy lifes or no mental illnesses?

I am the OP. My husband and I were living a pretty sexless life for a few years because of me. I think because of that when I found out he was cheating, I wasn't surprised. [/quote]

Well maybe that's why it's not big deal for you.  You were not having sex.  For those that had a good marriage and a great sex life, you can see why it would be a big deal---especially when they were having unprotected sex with somebody while having regular (multiple times per week) sex with the spouse.  That's disgusting.

You weren't shocked because you were giving a 'sign', a sexless marriage. You may have even been the one denying sex and feel guilty and 'understand'.  It's not the same for those not in your situation.  Not at all.[/quote]

OP here. I do feel guilty for withholding sex. And he patiently waited a long time. We had other issues as well and there was resentment on both sides. [/quote]
So what makes you qualified to be the judge of everyone else?[/quote]

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