Reply to Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This was a THREE YEAR affair.  It wasn't a one night stand or a small moment of transgression.  He likely lied to her on a daily basis..a thousand lies.

That is not love.  That level of disrespect and deception says that he does not love and value her the way she deserves.  If she is ok settling for that, that shows a lack of dignity for herself.  She needs to move on and find someone that truly loves and values her.

If OP has the means to leave she 100% should.  [/quote]

One of my friends found out that his wife had been cheating on him for 5+ years, over half their marriage. And it was with her boss, who was apparently under the impression they were in a sexless marriage and only together for the kids. They were planning a whole life together.

After my friend found out, he confronted her, and she still refused to stop seeing her boss. It was only when my friend talked directly to her boss and informed him that their marriage was not entirely sexless that she was forced to stop because her boss fired her and told her not to contact him again. Of course she went crawling back to my friend, and of course he took her back.

It's been over two years, and from outward appearances they appeared to have fixed things, so I suppose anything is possible OP if both sides are committed to it.[/quote]

That’s a circumstance I would not do.  And I stayed in a marriage with a midlife affair.  My spouse had ended it before confessing and was incredibly, incredibly remorseful and did  lot of self work.  For somebody that blatantly was still having the affair and it only stopped because they were dumped (and fired- good lord) more power to him.[/quote]

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