Reply to What percentage of people have the capacity to stay in and excel in a monogamous relationship?

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Reply to "What percentage of people have the capacity to stay in and excel in a monogamous relationship?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not looking for affirmation. It’s an anonymous board. I was simply trying to gauge how many people in the US are suffering from trauma to the point where they can’t live a virtuous monogamous life. I guess DCUM isn’t the best place. It was just a reflection after seeing how hard women and men had it in the past trying to start a life here that it seems odd we have people like Elon Musk who have everything and just have affair after affair. It really wasn’t anything related to me. I didn’t ask how much better I was than anyone. If anything I feel I fall short of my more perfect family members. I just wasn’t aware how much trauma others went through till I became an adult. You are right I was naive. But it is a symptom of a greater cutural failing if so many of our children are growing up in broken homes and we can’t seem to rise above the trauma ourselves as a society. [/quote]

Trauma is not a hard indicator. I had substantial childhood trauma and have an extremely happy and stable life today. But of course its an indicator.

I think two things can be true, OP you can be kind of a self righteous naive person (because no matter what you say you do not know what goes on behind closed doors unless you have cameras in all these peoples houses in which case, there is something screwed up happening anyway!). And monogamy can be a relationship style specifically suited to not everyone and the people who find each other who are well matched and good at monogamy are pretty lucky.

Most people are trying their best to be happy. Its good to have grace when viewing their lives from the outside. [/quote]

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