Reply to Sexless-ness is an acceptable negative outcome from marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy here.  A sexless marriage would be tough for me to accept.  I do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen - I try to head off relationship issues before resentment builds, do housework and am an engaged parent.  And when there’s an issue (such as sex) I talk to her about it.

[b]But I think something thats important is to be someone that a woman would want to have sex in the first place: Stay fit, lift weights, eat healthy, get a good haircut, be fun to be around, and, when you are in bed, make sure you satisfy her.[/b]

Luckily, my spouse does the same things.  It would be tougher if she didn’t.

Lastly, things are going to come up from time to time.  We’ve been working from home with a teen in the house and its been impossible finding a time that works.  We’ve resorted to doing it in the garage while he’s on Zoom calls!  Lol. How long has it been since you’ve ripped each other’s clothes off and screwed on a weight bench and camping chair?  Well it was a first for me and a funny connection builder that we both laugh about.[/quote]

This right here. But a lot of men dont want to acknowledge this. They do nothing around the house, blow themselves up to 250 pounds, and act sullen and grumpy all the time and then wonder why their wife has zero attraction. Women are not sexual martyrs![/quote]

The place that this breaks down is if women don’t do the same.  Body image issues can wreck a woman’s sex drive.[/quote]

^^ “Body image issues”. My ex was never fit or athletic. Ever. Yet I loved him. I have always been comfortable and confident, in a healthy way. I dealt with insecurity as a child, and overcame that before marriage. But in my eventual sexless marriage, the constant faithfulness to a man that would not look at me in any sexual way, nor do the basics that the original PP bolded above — everything imploded. Everything. I could completely hear my ex making this stupid argument deflecting and tossing shit around like it is truth.

In my first marriage, I WAS a sexual martyr. Faithfulness and complete fidelity until the end. Even when he was all up in every woman from his past’s DM with “innocent flirting”. So gross that you’re here. Move on. We all know you screwed up but this is just humiliating to make more of a fool out of yourself. There is a sea full of women waiting for you to partner for friendship if you want it that bad. But even a roommate expects an equal contribution to the upkeep and responsibility of a house.

I’m biased, and triggered. I didn’t have shame, he did and projected it onto me. I had no body image issue, he did, and has believed that lie to soothe his very wounded soul. Every soul deserves healing. But this is not the path for it. Probably best that I step out of this thread. It ain’t worth an increase in blood pressure. Or the waste in time sharing perspective on deaf ears and blind eyes.[/quote]

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