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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I'm in VA.  I'm trying to think through why it bothers me so much. Part of it is my vision of him going to some seedy supplier, getting caught, getting arrested, etc.  We just made some big purchases, (house, car) so we've been trying to be more frugal,  Then I think of him spending on pot. But, I'm trying to find a way to be open-minded. Work can be stressful for sure. Part of me thinks that this is an old college habit that most professional adults grow out of, but I'm sure I'm naive there.  
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I am in VA and I go to a dispensary in DC that for whatever reason never asked me for a medical card or an ID or anything, it’s a lovely store and the people there are super helpful; I buy $40 Vape cartridges (zero smell) that last me about four months, I take two puffs and sleep like a baby. I recently had surgery and instead of getting completely whacked out on opioids I took Tylenol and used my little vaporizer a few times during the day- I was actually a happy, pain-free functioning member of the family while I recovered from incredibly painful surgery.

Your husband is limiting his use to personal time of no consequence to his work, his family or his responsibilities; for whatever reason this helps him cope, sleep or relieve pain and I think you should not make a big deal of this.  The flipside could be him taking heavy duty SSRI’s, Ambien, painkillers etc. that would leave him with serious deficits in his life, you really don’t need to worry about the police getting involved because personal use qualities are not prosecuted like they used to be.

If you want to you could have a talk about his possibly coming into contact with some bad characters, you could suggest he go to a dispensary where the risks  are minimal but you have absolutely no right to tell him or insist that he stop. You might want to try it too, you’ll wake up feeling way better than you would after 2 glasses of Chardonnay. My wife will occasionally join me, she loves to fool around after a few puffs, sometimes we just watch community on Netflix and we fall asleep; either way we wake up feeling refreshed. Your husband is doing his best, we all need a little escape and I think that you should grant this to him in a supportive way.  [/quote]

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