Reply to Being An Older FTM

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PP that talked about perspective and highlighted the choice at hand (baby at 38 or no baby). There are pros and cons to having kids at any age but the specifics of your situation are what shape your parenting experience (e.g., your child's temperament. some babies are easy and some are not, some kids are more challenging than others).

I was 37 and almost 39 when I had my kids and they're in elementary school now. Like you, I did not meet my husband until I was mid-30s and so the choice was to have kids in our late 30s or not have any kids at all. I have no regrets about having kids at that age and cannot imagine my life without them. But my kids' time with their grandparents was brief and that is something that I will always mourn. The limited time with grandparents is not unique to older FTMs but it is more likely.

I'd also try to avoid the generalizations about pros/cons of different age of FTM. Sure, you would have probably had more energy for babies when you were in your 20s but that doesn't mean you won't have the energy for it in your mid to late 30s. Many of my mom friends are about 5-ish years younger than me but I never felt like things were easier for them than for me during the sleepless newborn times. We all felt pretty tired and each baby's temperament and willingness to sleep played a bigger role in determining how tired each person felt.

Best of luck to you, OP![/quote]

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