Reply to SAHMs of children entering school age

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As long as we can afford it, I’m never going back.

It’s just easy. Yes, it’s afforded DH many more work opportunities and advancements, and more money. I’m OK with that. You have to be OK with that. I had a dream job I worked my ass off achieving, and some days I miss it, but never more than I love the this lifestyle.

Echoing others, logistically it just makes sense. We don’t ever worry about anything like sick days or snow days, summer vacations or... remote learning. Also, yes, you’ll be so surprised how the time gets away from you. Suddenly it’s 3:30 and you have to leave to get the kids from school in 15 minutes. I definitely keep busy and I’m never bored, but I also enjoy my own company. Introvert here! [/quote]

Ugh, women like this are setting society back by decades.[/quote]
How so? If anything, I should be helping you. I’m not taking that promotion you’re seeking. How am I holding you back? How am I holding any woman back? Explain this to me, please, how MY not working is holding YOU back from a better, more high-paying, more satisfying job. I’m waiting. [/quote]

Actually by you not working you are freeing up that position for someone else so you are helping them with less competition.  [/quote]

Wrong. By not working and allowing her DH to be a workaholic, she is perpetuating the idea that one needs to be a workaholic with a SAHW to climb up the ladder. Completely antithetical to the family-friendly workplaces society should be striving for.[/quote]

My husband isn't a workaholic at all and has a very flexible work schedule.  We had lunch dates pre-covid and he regularly adjusted his schedule to attend school events during the day and drove activities most nights.  [/quote]

You can’t have it both ways. Didn’t you write that you quitting and taking on the household/childcare work afforded your husband career advancement opportunities? Which means that he is perpetuating the idea in his workplace that movers-and-shakers need to have SAHWs. The junior folks will observe. I know I personally find it heartening that the people up my chain of command, up to the head of the division, all have working spouses. It makes them more reasonable because they “get it” since there’s no housewife at home taking care of everything and they actually have responsibilities at home.[/quote]

I quit as my child care fell through and we couldn't afford a nanny.  I stayed out because my child had SN and later on I had to take care of my MIL.  He had higher earning potential than I did and over the years has replaced my salary.  I could never do that in the field I was in.  It was 100% my choice.  My husband offered it to me but I kept refusing as my parents would be furious, which they were and it ended our relationship (which I knew and was fine with).  My husband does a lot.  My husband would have had the same career opportunities either way but with his current job he might not have been able to travel the few weeks a year but he's always been able to turn them down or cancel if there was an issue (he canceled one when I got sick and one when his mom was at the end of life and he spent the entire two weeks working from her nursing home room to be there to care for her).  Life is about choices.  Nothing wrong with working or staying home and you do what's best for you and your family.  Stop blaming men.  You married a horrible spouse but many of us didn't.  If I wanted a career, my husband would have gladly stayed home and been very good at it.[/quote]

You sound really defensive. And it’s odd that quitting would cause your parents to disown you. Methinks there’s more to the story.

Also, a husband is not a “horrible spouse” just because his wife works, FYI.[/quote]

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