Reply to If you have two boys, 2 years apart, when did life feel manageable?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sadly, it's fairly common for special needs parents to be separated and for one to be the only caregiver. Hence why books that have actually dealt with such families like Autistic Logistics wisely suggest tactics that don't require input.

I actually do have a supportive husband and even so I find he just cannot help in the beginning. Once I have.the system working he does help keep it going. I've seen this dynamic go both ways. [/quote]

Is this OP?

If so, why can't you tell your husband what to do on weekends so you can get some time alone, even for just an hour to shower and watch a TV show or something?[/quote]
Not OP. My husband does help. I'm the pp autistic logistics lady.

Unless you've lived with a child w serious special needs, don't judge. If it was as simple as telling her partner to step up, it would have happened already. I have a supportive husband and he does help - but he is often busy, our child sleeps only 2-3 hours a night which means we are always exhausted. And different people react to stress differently. There is no question any kind of special need is a high stress situation for a family.

I hate when people blame the mom. Why dont you just x y z. You can make suggestions but not everyone has the same life situation as you and kids needs are different too [/quote]

PP, YOU are the one who said that once you have a system in place your husband will follow it. So I asked why you can't give him a plan for the weekend to get some time to yourself. Did I judge you? No, that was the chip on your shoulder talking. I'm sorry you have one, but you're going to lead a much more miserable life assuming that everyone is judging and blaming you than if you don't assume that everyone is out to get you. Then you accuse me of blaming the mom when YOU were the one who said YOU establish the systems and then your husband follows them. Sheesh.[/quote]

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