Reply to Resentful that ILs only want to help DH’s son and not mine

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Reply to "Resentful that ILs only want to help DH’s son and not mine"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does your husband say?[/quote]

Nothing. He’s just happy that his son wants to maintain this family tradition but is disinterested in my son’s future. My son’s bio dad isn’t in the picture and he has no living grandparents. The only grandparents he knows are DH’s parents and they are nice to him but it’s obvious they love their own grandson while taking a polite interest in my son. What hurts is that I cooked, cleaned, tutored and took care of both kids for many years but there’s no acknowledgement for my role in their grandson’s success and no acknowledgement for my son either.[/quote]

Your husband is disinterested in his stepson’s future? Lady, THAT is what you need to be posting about. Forget the grandparents. They have no obligation to your child. But your spouse? That’s a whole different story. [/quote]

+1! That was exactly what I was thinking!  Wow, you stayed with a man who could not or chose not to love your son. That is the issue. [/quote]

The real issue is that very few people will "love" someone else's child the same way they love their own. That's hard-wired in us.  Sure, he may like the kid and sure, he may treat him like a son in some respects - but he is NOT his child and he will probably never love him like his child.  If he did, he would have adopted him.  But considering that brings with it legal and financial responsibilities until that child is an adult, there are not many stepparents who do that, either, for good reason:

The other fact is that almost 70% of second marriages that involve children may end up in divorce.  The grandparents are perfectly justified in not financially supporting the stepson. [/quote]

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