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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If they had a f*cked up childhood--a parent was an alcoholic or a serial cheater...RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO matter how much they swear they won't turn out that way...wait 20 years and tell me what happens.[/quote]

My husband's mother was an alcoholic and he's an amazing person and father and I wouldn't trade him for anything.  You are wrong about this.

[/quote]

This is interesting. I think you got lucky.

I am 50 and divorced. Here are my mistakes!

I married too young. 
I quit my career to move to a city where I couldn't work in the same field. I loved that career and I was good at it. 
I ignored red flags because I was young and stupid. 
I was looking for someone very different from me - I was quiet, he was LOUD. 
He drank a lot, his father was a recovered alcoholic, his mother was awful and domineering and drank too much too. He was sexually abused as a child.

Flash forward to his forties. He fell apart. Career, substance abuse, weight, health, and was a big cheater. Personality disorder, etc.

I really wish that I had waited to marry. I should have stayed in my city, in my career. I felt a lot of pressure to marry I think.

I also wish that I had married someone with my temperament - calm and stable. Someone compatible.

And mostly, I wish I hadn't ignored the red flags.

My second time around, I found the right person for me. But I am sad about all the years I gave up for him, someone who really wasn't capable of love or stability. He basically just fizzled out. He's a mess now. And he's not a nice or good person either, and that's something I find hard to reconcile from the young guy I met in my early twenties. Basically, he cracked up.

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