Reply to Unfaithful Spouse, how did you get over affair and save your marriage?

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Reply to "Unfaithful Spouse, how did you get over affair and save your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks.  I just found out.  I have kids- 12 and 14 and don’t want to mess up their lives right now.

I came up with all the terms.  I just discovered affair one month ago.  He actually had started therapy on his own about 4 months ago because he was in over his head and spiraling down with double life.  Therapist told me he was supremely motivated did not like AP.  It was a self loathing childhood related thing.

I, at this point, am very angry and very disgusted. I was having frequent regular sex with him while he had unprotected sex with her.

He is entering all kinds of therapy, doing the post nup and vasectomy and right now cooking all meals and doing all the stuff with the kids.

I am a wreck.  I have PTSD now and stomach ulcers.

I don’t know what the future holds.  It’s only been 3.5 weeks.  I kicked him out for 2.  He’s back but we don’t share a bed.  I cannot imagine having sex with him for god knows how long and have constant flashes of them having sex replaying in my mind.  The lies and betrayal were awful.
He spilled everything.  I pressed hard for every last detail.  Then I had him call her on their preferred Skype Internet call which shows “unknown caller”.  She picked up and when I said who I was she kept hanging up.  Eventually I got her on the line for an hour and her version of events matched 100% to his.  He did in fact break up with her—in a pretty explosive way. This was her second Ashley Madison affair as well.  I feel for her husband and kids that have no idea who their mother/wife really is.  She has no desire to change and was angry he started therapy four months ago.  Piece of work.

I have eaves dropped on his call with therapist (I am entitled!! He lied to me for 4 years) and he is being honest with him.

I did talk to his mother and she’s as batshit crazy as ever and in denial.  Wants to visit me and the grandkids she had zero interest in before.

[b]So, people, this is what Ashley Madison does to families.[/b]

You cheaters all deserve to burn in hell.

[/quote]It's just a web site.  You could say the same thing for: cell phones, the internet in general, or any other form of communication.  You could even blame the modern automobile, planes, and trains.  They are all just, things.  Those things don't do anything to families.  They are just tools that make affairs more convenient.  Don Draper didn't have a cell phone or the internet but her still did OK.[/quote]

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