Reply to Appropriate response to email from MIL regarding COVID-19 death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a former MIL of a woman who was a total psycho and treated my son very badly until he was finally able to divorce her after waiting until their kid graduated HS I'd like to just know this:

Why does everybody automatically assume this MUST be completely a case of a wacky bitchy MIL and can't possibly be caused by whatever the DIL is like?

I mean, isn't it possible that if his mom was as bad as OP says then her H would maybe do something about it, like defend his wife and not put up with his mom's crap?  Just wondering.[/quote]

An appropriate response to your kid marrying someone awful is letting him know you'll always be there for him and an occasional "I'm worried about you and how she treats you." Not telling him to divorce her and get together with someone else. That's a crazy lack of appropriate boundaries with your kid that suggests lack of bad judgement in general. Also, the MIL emailed the wife. If I think someone's crazy, I don't contact them and I'm definitely not rude like this because I'm trying to avoid a fight with crazy people, not start one. [/quote]

Well, maybe, but during the five to ten years my son put up with her while waiting for the kid to grow up he consulted a lawyer to find out where he stood twice, years apart.  He wanted to divorce her but decided it wasn't yet in the best interests of the kid.  So yeah, he could have told his wife that his mom encouraged him to divorce her because my H and I both offered to pay for the lawyer if that was the problem.  I don't think my son ever said anything like that to his wife but apparently the OP's husband has told her what his mom said.  That's pretty special isn't it?  Why would he tell her, does he just want his wife to hate his mom?  Or did the MIL actually tell the OP herself that she wants them to get a divorce.  Just wondering![/quote]

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