Reply to Thoughts on grandparents paying private school tuition for one grandchild and not others

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]  The child has no special needs and the grandparents were at one point estranged from the parent of said child. It isn't that this adult child went above and beyond helping them to somehow ear hundreds of thousands of dollars of free tuition over the years for the grandchild. Other grandchildren are doing well in public school, but this one sibling wanted fancy things for her child. It's their money to do as they please, but just making clear it is not that this adult child did anything to earn special treatment and funding or that there are special circumstances that require private school. They did not see this grandchild more than they saw their other grandchildren.

I take the higher road and feel it's their money to do as they please, but I can't help but also find it distasteful and I will never do this with my own kids unless a grandchild has significant learning issues, medical problems or emotional problems. I do see it as a form of playing favorites.[b] I don't see it as worthy of bringing up[/b] because again, their money, their choices. It is not my place to expect handouts, but I do feel what they are doing is unfair. My brother is downright pissed and may confront them.
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OP, if you are not willing to bring it up, then don't stew about it.

I went to grad school and took out $50,000 in loans because it never occurred to me to ask my parents for help. I struggled a lot. My sister went to grad school and asked my dad to pay for it. He did. Every cent, plus living expenses. Probably $75,000 total. I only found out later when my sister told me. I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad so I never mentioned it but I did talk to my sister about it. She said my dad would complain about paying for her sometimes and bring me up and how I "never asked them for a cent." Like he was proud of me.

So, basically, it never occurred to my dad that it might be "fair" to pay for me. As far as he knew I was doing fine, and he was even proud that I was "self sufficient" (he didn't know about the loans because I never told him). Why would he hand me a check? I did once ask my mom for a $1,000 loan for internship applications, and again for a move across country, and both times she sent me the money without hesitating and said it was a gift. I doubt she sent my siblings and equal sum at the same time, but she probably helped them at other times.

I think you are wrong to assume your parents view the money the same way you do. Either talk to them, or stop being angry about it.[/quote]

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