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[quote=Anonymous]Hi, OP.  I am one of eight kids, and have four kids.  My parents probably were influenced by religion, but that played no role in decision-making for me and my husband. My DH and I are also both attorneys, though I stopped working shortly after my fourth was born because finding reliable childcare that could also do all the carpooling that multiple kids in multiple activities entails became too stressful.  Financially, we are really lucky that my DH is a high earner.  I do think you know when you are done.  After three, I just didn't feel like our family was complete.  I knew I was definitely done after four.  So, that would weigh in favor of having another based on your mindset.

On the other hand, all of the issues (logistical, emotional, financial, mental health, etc.) get bigger as your kids get older.  Bigger kids, bigger problems for sure.  That can be very emotionally draining for a parent.  It's true that you are only as happy as your least happy child, and when you have a lot of kids, there are a lot of emotions involved. There is also something to be said about one-on-one time with the kids (which a couple of our kids really seem to want) AND with your spouse.  So many of our weekends are spent going in different directions with different kids that we DH and I will sometimes go weeks in a row without seeing much of each other.  Of course, that is changing as our oldest has now left the house and the other kids don't always need/want us there.  Someone else pointed out how expensive older kids are.  It is so, so true.  Just don't underestimate those expenses, and be aware of potential expenses for therapy, expensive sports (including travel), tutors, etc.

We have never, ever wished we didn't have four, and I can't imagine a smaller family working for us.

Only you and your DH can decide what's right for your family.  I would just suggest thoroughly discussing some of these issues.  Good luck! [/quote]

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