Reply to Recover from an affair (need advice from others who strayed)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was the cheater and I have to to tell you after my own personal intense counseling, it made me realize I was in a toxic marriage. While cheating is never okay, and I did cheat on my husband, what counseling did show me is that my marriage was a joke and we divorced because of that and not the affair. I ended up remarrying 5 years later to a man that is my person, that is right for me. No, he was not the AP that I was madly in love with either. Just be ready to leave your spouse regardless of what they want.[/quote]

Sounds like you have no ability to accept responsibility.  The marriage was toxic as you choose to cheat.  You never cheat.  Be honorable and get a divorce if the marriage is so bad.[/quote]

Seriously! Cheaters have an amazing ability to compartmentalize. Hence how they can hurt so many people and put themselves first for so long. Toxic or not, BE AN HONORABLE PERSON AND LEAVE.[/quote]

If I told you my husband verbally and emotionally abused me for years, will you still be on his side? Look, I got married at 18 to a 28 year old man, who I thought was saving me. Over time, he controlled everything I did. I was not even allowed to talk to my mom unless it was on speaker. He would check my texts and phone log every day. I cheated with our neighbor. I never said it was OKAY...I clearly said it's not okay to just cheat. Bottom line for me,[b] it was the AP that made me realize I was being abused. [/b]You people and your honorable crap.  :roll: [/quote]
How was it that you couldn't have figured that by yourself?[/quote]

Unless you understand and have studied the patterns of abuse, please just stop talking. How in the hell in 2020 and the #metoo movement can anyone even effing ask this question of a woman? OMG...do you live on under a rock? Do you know the shame woman carry with them? [/quote]

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