Reply to DH cheated on me, and it would've been easier to be a widow

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Reply to "DH cheated on me, and it would've been easier to be a widow"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, OP. I wish I could help you in real life. This happened to me - well a version of this happened to me about ten years ago.

I found his emails and threw him out of the house after 10 years of marriage. My ex's behavior was more dangerous than what you've written here. I didn't tell my family or friends for several months. They all thought I had gone off the rails - I didn't return phone calls, I ran out of school meetings, etc.

It was the (second) biggest mistake of my life. The first was marrying my ex in the first place.

Please tell your friends. People will surprise you. They will rally behind you, and you need this support. Please don't make the mistake I made. I was so isolated for so long, hiding my ex's shame - well, I absorbed the shame and carried it around for everyone. It nearly killed me. Please find ONE person this weekend to tell. Another person by Tuesday, another by Friday. People will help. You will get through this

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Honestly, this part is true. I know you want sympathy, but the sympathy you get from telling everyone at this point is a cheap sugar rush.  It will come and go, and not make any difference for you.

Find one or two close friends to confide in. Don't run your mouth to all and sundry. You'll live to regret it.

Don't go around telling your marital business in an effort to shame him. People have evolved now and will see it as something he could not help since he is gay.

People know why folks divorce and his family probably suspects that he is gay.[/quote][/quote]

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