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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you would be happy with this guy if he were rewired, but not as he is now.

You left him a note which he completely ignored, you say.

You two are on different planets on pretty important things. The bottom line is that he will be in control of the relationship because he's setting the ceiling on pace and commitment. It will always be this way and it has already caused you suffering.

I divorced someone after over 15 years together and largely it can be distilled down to this kind of thing. I "loved" him and he "loved" me, I felt so happy when he would finally be there when I needed him. But throughout our relationship as life happened and evolved, his "availability" was a problem for me in some form or other.

Therapy helped me realize that I should have never continued the relationship past the first year or two when frankly I knew all I needed to know.

You don't have to be in lockstep with someone, but you have to be compatible, or else you will be crazy and unhappy. I am now remarried to someone who is more compatible in availability and it is life-changing.

Stop chasing this man. I'm sure you love each other and all that. Doesn't mean you should be together. You're not really appreciating and accepting each other for who you really are. If he did, he wouldn't ignore your note! And I guess you wouldn't have left it for him![/quote]

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