Reply to Will this wreck my relationship?

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[quote=Anonymous]First, his feet-dragging/meandering personality isn't a problem on its own. It doesn't mean he's a bad person or even a bad partner. But it does mean that you two are going to act really differently in a relationship. If you were both happy to wander along, enjoy one another's company, and just let time take its course – then great! The problem is that he wants that and you don't. And he's getting what he wants and you are not. Which isn't fair to you.

I think you need to decide whether you want to make this work (or make a go at it), knowing that he will be like this forever. He's always going to drag his feet on major decisions and sometimes that ends up making the decision. You do that when trying to buy a house and someone else will put in an offer first – and you lose the house.

If you do want to try, I would sit him down and level: "I care about you, I enjoy being with you, but right now, we are operating entirely on your timeline and never on mine. I want to make these specific decisions in the next year. Is that something you will be able to do? You need to say 'yes' or 'no,' not 'maybe.' If not, maybe we should accept that we want different things."[/quote]

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