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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds like more of a hoarding problem than ADHD.  You need to take charge here and even if he will not allow you to get rid of anything because it gives him anxiety to part with whatever is making up his various piles around the house, then at least take the stuff and store it in bins so it's out of the way and you can make space. Will he at least allow you to move it, even if you're not giving it away? That way it's stored and out of the way and he can go through it another time after he's sought help for this condition. My parents were hoarders and never got rid of anything, and piles of stuff accumulated throughout their house. People who suffer from this aren't able to part with anything, even if they're no longer using it.  It's a mental illness. But one way to compromise on this, is just to store it and that way you're not living with piles of stuff everywhere. As for the ADHD side of things, are there ways you can help him stay more organized? Designate a spot for him to leave his keys? Find ways to help him track appointments, etc.?  I think that is less of an issue than the hoarding.  I always joke with friends and family that if not for me, child protective services would probably show up at our house for our children living in filth and clutter because my husband, who has not been formally diagnosed with ADHD. literally does not clean and will not get rid of anything.  I clean and purge.  The soccer cleats he hasn't worn since high school? Gone. The shirts he hasn't worn since 1997? Gone. I don't even ask. I just get rid of stuff and as long as it's not something sentimental or a childhood memento, it gets donated.  And for the cleaning--I've just accepted that is my job. He's pretty good about putting dishes in the sink and doesn't leave food around, but he could goes weeks without ever cleaning a bathroom or wiping down a kitchen counter if I wasn't there.  When I met him after college, his room was a filthy, disgusting so I knew then what I was dealing with and even though we lived together for several years before we got married, his lack of organization and cleaning really didn't bother me as much until we had kids. That's when I wanted my house clean and organized and I had to accept he won't change and I just need to make it my job to do it. I could not tolerate any form of hoarding.  OP--see if you can compromise with him and at least store his piles in places that are not infringing on your daily life. And reclaim the second bedroom so you can get a decent night's sleep! [/quote]

Most hoarders have ADHD. If you force a hoarder to let go before they’re ready, you’re practically guaranteed a relapse. I’m not saying your methods don’t work for you, but OP’s situation has progressed pretty far, and probably needs a different method. [/quote]

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