Reply to I have ONE standard for men. Am I asking too much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One standard: be an ADULT.

This means:

Have and keep a job. It doesn’t matter what it is. Blue collar, white collar, self employed. Just have a job.

Pay your own bills. You don’t need to pay mine, just yours.

Take some pride in your home residence. It doesn’t have to be a luxury condo or house. Even if you live with roommates to save money. Make your bed, do your dishes, and please don’t live in a basement with a room that only has a mattress on the floor, dirty clothes, an Xbox, and Dorito crumbs everywhere.

Take some pride in your appearance. It matters less to me if you are overweight, shorter than average, or how chiseled your bone structure is. Have good hygiene and don’t dress like a slob. I don’t care what you wear at home or just going about, but please iron a fresh shirt for our first date.

Treat others like adults. Take responsibility for your actions and respect people’s time and energy.

WHY is it that this is so hard to find? It seemed like all of the men around 30ish who aren’t already snatched up aren’t ADULTS. WHY does everyone who asks me out on a date a basement dwelling gamer??[/quote]

And what do you bring to the relationship? Nag, Nag, Nag?[/quote]
I'm sure OP is..

.. well groomed
.. gainfully employed
.. keeps her place somewhat tidy
.. tries to be on time and not be flakey

I shared this post with my DH last night, and he said he didn't understand men who were like this, either.[/quote]

Male here, how old is your DH? I look at most of these post about men and shake my head. I am close to 50 so I assume its age related. I never understood adults who were gamers. It doesn't take much effort to keep your house clean AND iron you clothes[/quote]
PP here.. my DH is 55, so yes, maybe it is an age thing.

If a man is not gainfully employed, he is not going to care about ironing his shirts, even for a date, I guess. My DH ironed his shirts for work, and he did make an effort when we started dating.  He's an engineer. It's not like he's a metrosexual who cares a whole lot about his looks or his clothes, but he will make *some* effort to appear cleaned up, especially when we first started dating.

He wfh now so it's easy to go down the slob slope.  I noticed that he started looking more like a slob everyday -- sweat pants, stained tshirt. I mean.. who cares? He wfh. But, then he even started to look like this when close friends came over for dinner.  I didn't say anything at the time, but much later, when we were talking about something, I did joke about how he's been living in his sweatpants and it wasn't very flattering.  This was a while ago. I haven't seen him wear sweatpants once since then.   Recently, he's also lost some weight, and he is looking so much better.  He's way more attractive without the huge beer belly hanging over his pants.

I feel sorry for younger women who are still looking for partners if this is what is out there. It's not like OP is looking for a rich guy, who is good looking and fit. Her standards seem pretty basic to me.[/quote]

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