Reply to Do you give host gift when DC goes on vacation with another family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We get verbal thx and offers to reimburse which we decline. 
I do it for my kids, one DD is very social and loves having her friends around - enough thanks for me.[/quote]

+1  Why would you expect something in return?  Yes, I may e providing your kid with an opportunity/experience they may not have had otherwise but when I issue an invitation, whether it's to come on a trip, get ice cream or come for a sleepover, I expect nothing more than a 'thank you' - and a verbal 'thank you' is just fine. [/quote]

I think we all feel that way about ice cream or sleepovers. You can’t equate that to taking kids on a trip.  [/quote]

So the efforts a guest must make to thank you for your invitation depends on the amount of money you spend on them?  Why not just tell them what you expect in return so you aren't disappointed and the guest can then determine if the invitation is worth it?[/quote]

Once again- no. I think the vast majority pay back at some point or other sleepovers or movie outings, ice cream outings, play dates, lasertag, driving to the mall, taking out to dinner - whatever.  Taking a kid on a trip is completely different: it’s a massive responsibility, little down time, more work, more expensive, more mess, more work, more planning, etc. You can justify this all you want but the fact of the matter is a small token of appreciation is warranted in this situation. Sorry you don’t agree. You’re wrong. [/quote]

You say, 'no', but then go on to say that, unlike sleepovers/movie/ice cream, taking someone on a trip requires a small token of appreciation because of the increased resources you expend.  As demonstrated on this thread, your expectation is not universal.  That doesn't mean it's wrong or right, it's just different.  When people have differing expectations and those expectations are not clear, you're likely to be disappointed.  In your case, you are also judgmental of those who do not meet your expectation.  I'm fine with you not inviting my kid on your trips.  [/quote]

DP weighing in.  We frequently take other children with us on extended trips.  Sometimes it is to our second home, sometimes it is to a vacation spot here in the US and sometimes it is to a vacation spot outside of the US.  And just so we're clear, we pay all of the expenses, including flight costs whether it is a commercial airline seat or a private charter.  We pay all the expenses because the child is our guest.  Just as we don't charge a room rate if the child comes for a sleepover, neither do we charge the cost of airfare or anything else.  Yikes.

We do not see this as a quid pro quo situation.  We of course appreciate a verbal thank you at the end of the trip but anything more would be offensive.  We invited the child because we wanted their presence and thought the child would like to go with us.

When our children have traveled with other families, we have not offered to pay and we have only given verbal thanks afterwards.  If someone thinks this is rude then so be it. [/quote]

Thank you notes and hostess gifts are good manners.  It's not about quid pro quo, and under no circumstances is it offensive.[/quote]

In whose opinion?  Yours???  Well, look at la di dah you.

I completely disagree with your perspective.  Sheesh.

You're offended if you get a verbal thank you and not a written one?  And you need a hostess gift to feel good about yourself?  It certainly is quid pro quo that you're going to be mad you don't get a present.  That's sad.  And, frankly, if that is your expectation (written thank you, not verbal, and a present) then you should state it up front, before the trip, and not set this family/child up to fail because they didn't jump through your clearly singular hoops (since you and your opinion seem to be in the minority here).

A verbal thank you from a guest is all I want.  And if you think you have to buy me a gift to say thank you then I absolutely find that offensive because imo opinion it means that you think I will feel better about you because you bought me a present.  Yuck.

But you do you, and I will try not to judge you too harshly for your very narrow band of what is hospitable behavior.[/quote]

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