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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I would never pay someone to raise my child, especially someone without kids.

She probably didn't invite him to any of the appointment and meets and behind the scenes did things like tell him to to come.[/quote]

LOL so I take it you quit your job and stayed home with your child on your custody days?[/quote]

My kids live with me and yes I did quit.  When my step kids visited we switched off and used leave.  We both do appointments.  One physical, two dental, eye exam yearly plus anything else.  My husband has a very flexible job so it’s a nonissue. [/quote]

DP. Amazing. I totally pegged you were a resentful, jealous stepmother, and turns out I was right. Keep defending deadbeat dads, honey. And I am still happily married to the DH I met at 22, so I have no ex to worry about. I just look around at the grim reality of the divorced moms I see around me and their deadbeat exes, and I can spot resentful golddiggers like you a mile away.[/quote]

How am I a gold digger.  I feel bad for your kids give you make such judgements and not looking at the other side.    I have paid far more for kids that were not mine than their mother ever did.  I bought their clothing, plane tickets and more as my husbands ex got child support and alimony for years including years after it should have been over until he took him to court for more and the judge cut her off.    You have no clue what some dads go through and it’s women like you are why the men walk away because you are so mean and vengeful.  [/quote]

Just stop. The vast majority of of parenting work is done by mothers.  And that continues after divorce. I am still married to my only husband (20 years now) and I hope and pray that we will stay together. He is a great dad. Does whatever I ask, rearranges his schedule, spends time with them etc.  But I know who picks up the slack and makes the long term plans (physical, emotional, educational). Once I push for something to be examined, he is happy to think about it and work on it with me. His ideas and solutions are often better than mine. But who would do this stuff if we were separated?  Still me. And he if he were resentful toward me, would he be less willing to cooperate?  I hope he is a bigger man than that, but so many divorced men are not, it seems to me.

My teen DD has a friend who comes from a split family. She likes both her mom and dad. And doesn’t seem to mind her stepmom. But when it comes to the parent who seems to be swallowing the most to keep the kids’ needs in the forefront, it is always the mom. And this dynamic is fairly common. [/quote]

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