Reply to Advice on how to get over not having another child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's great that you want a third. Ignore the bitter naysayers, DCUM can be very anti-natalist. You don't want to pressure your husband, but you also don't want to resent him. Can you keep talking about it with him and tell him that he is your #1 priority but also how you are feeling? Are there things you can agree on that would help with logistics? Childcare, more help etc? Also having older kids will make it so different, not long before your oldest can babysit which makes it so much easier to have flexibility. But I think maybe you need to probe deeper as to why your husband isn't thrilled and see if there is something that could be done. Perhaps he is enjoying having more time with you and worries a new baby would take that away...[/quote]

Oh, stop. We are not bitter or "anti-natalist." More babies is not always the answer, and it's clear that OP has some serious reservations. In here original post, she wrote:

We never wanted or planned on having more than 2 children
it would be a large age gap and hard for us to do activities as a family and travel
I am in my early 40s and get tired more easily compared to my 30s
DH is not keen on another
I worry about time with each child, time as a family, and the energy to parent 3 in our 40s and 50s
we are nervous about potential health risk

Those are a LOT of good reasons to dig more deeply into what sounds a lot like normal hormonal changes and baby fever that happens as we enter the end of our childbearing years. The fact that she's experiencing these deep feelings but her husband is not speaks volumes about this being at least partly hormonal.

Also, the idea that older kids can help out and babysit is the epitome of selfishness--parents who want more children but want to force them to raise each other are the worst. I am from a family of 8 and the oldest of us HATED having to mind little brothers and sisters all the time.[/quote]

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