Reply to How to survive an unhappy marriage?

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Reply to "How to survive an unhappy marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When couples say they have to stay together for the children, and then describe a very unhealthy relationship dynamic (ie. “Never touch,” and sleep in separate rooms)...I always think, “Why do you assume that divorce us worse than what you are modeling for your children?” Think about what they are learning from your example of how married couples relate.

You can follow all the rigid rules you have memorized (ie divorce = bad)...but so is what they are seeing everyday.

[b]I am also bothered by your comment that you are doing what you can to ignite passion by earning a certain amount of money. That only goes together if you think women can be bought or are gold diggers. [/b]So your ideas sound very old fashioned and not progressive.

I am sorry you are unhappy but I do think you need to share your honest feelings with your wife, and try counseling together (with a qualified therapist, not church leader). Good luck.[/quote]

I thought that too.

This plus the gifts and flowers, spending a lot of time at work and the gym, and describing your wife as conflict avoidant makes me think that she is also deeply unfulfilled with the connection in your marriage.

Go home, man.  Stop going to the gym so much.  Stop procrastinating at work and get it done. Play with your kids.  Teach them how to set the table and help with dinner.  Discipline them if they are rude or disrespectful to your wife.  Build something in the garage.  There are ways to be manly in a traditional marriage besides being gone all of the time and earning a lot of money.  [/quote]

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