Reply to Found out FIL paid off grandson’s student loans/zero help for my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your nephew could use a wise, loving aunt and uncle to help him figure out how to overcome his current situation.

Too bad he only has shrews for aunts. [/quote]

Sounds like the kid can't hold a job, can't stay in college for longer than a semester and has no trouble taking money from his elderly grandfather.

I don't mean to sound like a hard azz, but an ungrateful kid like that probably needs to live with the consequences of his own stupid decisions for awhile. No one can make him give a sh*t.[/quote]

Where does it say “no trouble asking”[/quote]

Clearly, the grandson was fine with his grandfather footing the bill or the grandson would have figured out a way to hold down a job so that he could at least help pay for his own school.[/quote]

So we can impute lots of lazy intent because he did get grandpa to co-sign and didn’t hack it?? This is a kid. OP should give him all the grace she would give her own kid. All the mentorship she would offer a kid she loves. With snarling family like OP you can understand why this kid can’t seem to get his footing. [/quote]

The kid was kicked out after ONE semester.  Usually they get put on academic probation, they don't get kicked out.  The kid can't seem to hold down a job, either.  What is going on with this kid?  Is there a substance abuse problem?  Depression/mood disorder?

Also, does this kid even want OP in his business?  Maybe the last thing on earth he wants is her advice and loving concern.  The only thing Op knows is that FIL has been throwing money at this kid trying to make things better and things aren't getting better for him.  In the meantime, Op's kids are busting their tails to earn scholarships, work retail jobs and study long hours to earn good grades.

If Op's nephew is out playing with his buddies, putting forth little to no effort to improve himself then I can see how Op might be hurt that FIL was helping this kid out while ignoring Op's hard working children.  [/quote]
[b]
You have to make a lot of uncharitable assumptions about this kid, who comes from a bankrupt family, to justify OP’s heartless selfishness[/b]. And that’s my point. [/quote]

+1 Classic case of attribution bias.
[/quote]

Baloney.  The kid clearly has no direction and had the opportunity to go to community college while he figured things out.  instead, he chose to go to an expensive private school where he proceeded to get himself kicked out after just one semester.  Now his grandfather his left to use his retirement money to pay the bill and this kid is NOT WORKING. In fact, this kid is probably out having a good time if the truth were to be told.

In the meantime, Op's kids are busting their tails to get scholarships, work and study hard.  They get nothing because they "have it sooo easy".  I get why Op finds that hard to swallow although I do agree that this is FIL's money and he can decide how to spend it.  Learn from this, Op. If anything, learn what not to do.

Op - I get what you are saying and I am sorry but you have got to count your blessings that your own kids are doing so well.[/quote]

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