Reply to How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "How many kids do you have, and if you could change anything, would have had more? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have 3 (twins and a third) and debated for years about having a 4th.  In retrospect I'm so happy we didn't have the 4th. 
Why?

-I've found the older my kids get, the crazier their (and our) lives are.  Mine are now 13, 13, 10.  We run like crazy people taking them to practices, school events, concerts, parties, etc. 
I feel like I exist in roller skates and I'm always driving.  Having multiple kids is easy when they're young and REALLY easy when they're under 5 and all you're worrying about is feeding them, dressing them and getting them to sleep.  In my experience it gets nuts when they're in middle school.

-I'm now 45 and I'm far more tired than I was at 40.  I felt like 41-42 was interchangeable with 30 or 35.  These last few years I've felt age creep on.  I've discussed this with many friends and we all agree.  There's a shift in energy, etc that happens mid 40's.

-We love to travel internationally with our kids and it gets SO much easier each year.  We've gone on a big trip every year since our youngest was 2 (so the past 8 years).  My kids became pros at sitting on long-haul flights (Asia, etc) since they were young.  They visit museums, historical sights like it's their job.   However, it all gets so much easier each year.  Even if your kids are good travelers, when they're young they're just slower and everything takes a million years.  Now at 13 and 10 they pack themselves.  They can deal with jet lag without a hiccup.  They can wait to pee if the next bathroom isn't for 2 more hours.  They don't need a drink or complain even if they're thirsty.  They can run for a train connection, etc.  All these things (over the course of a vacation) make a trip far more enjoyable.  Also we're now able to do far more interesting things--we just came back from skiing in Europe.  Lats winter we went backpacking in Patagonia.  None of this would be possible if we still had a young kid in the mix.  [/quote]

I'm an earlier poster with 2 who now and again regrets not having another (but generally happy with where we are).  EVERYONE I know who has 3 has said the thing about how much harder it is when they're older.  Sure, it's annoying to have a crawling baby and a potty training toddler etc etc, but the logistics of their activities and lives in general gets exponentially more difficult once they hit late elementary and you really need to have a plan in place for managing that (flexible jobs, strong family and/or neighborhood support, etc).[/quote]

I think you're both forgetting how hard the little kid years are.  The sheer physical exhaustion, constant touching, tantrums, etc., all compound the potty-sleep-bedtime-don't touch that-don't eat that-everything else.  Parents I trust with grown kids have said that it's hard all the way through, but the hard parts change.  But what they don't do is act like the little kid years were a breeze, because they know better.  I mean, unless you have automatons for children, I guess.  I wouldn't even say my three are super challenging (the oldest, sometimes), and knock wood, they're typically developing and mostly healthy, but still.  It's so, so unfair to the parents of small kids to pretend that they have it easy.[/quote]

I've never met a parent who said it was easy! Even if your children are saints they take a ton of work. I'm a SAHM with four children 8 and under and it is non-stop work and exhausting. But they are my little people and I adore them.....99% of the time1

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics