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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Many of these extreme responses are clearly from parents whose idea of solo parenting is a long weekend when their spouse is away. It is very easy to slip into negativity when you are the only one doing it 24/7. Just call his pediatrician and make an appointment. Ruling out other things like ADHD will help target what the issue is. Plus you can get a referral for counseling for the both of you. It might help reset the dynamic. It's hard. I wrote before about me being in this same situation with my DS. I was relieved when I found out he had ADHD and that I no longer had to exhaust myself disciplining him. Ignore the rude responses. Start tomorrow making the pediatrician appointment and back way off with the things that don't matter (and when you think about it, most of them don't).[/quote]

New poster here, and I agree with this sentiment. I'm a single parent too. It is soooo hard doing this 24/7. There is no respite, ability to walk away, division of discipline duties, etc.

OP, I would have had a similar reaction. Stealing, lying about it, then trying to disclaim/not understanding the consequences at 12 yo, I would have had a hard time not losing my mind given the lead-up and circumstances.

What about having a "Family" meeting to talk about house rules and goals to reset the dynamic? Here's an example: https://www.theintentionalmom.com/family-house-rules-free-printable/

I think you need a reboot. It won't solve anything overnight, but it will give a new starting point. I completely hear you and understand the difficulty in being the loving/nurturing mom and disciplinarian. For me, I just try to be what the situation calls me to be. I tell the kids I love them every day, I give them lots of physical affection, but I come down hard if they aren't acting right. I just think you need to almost let go of the past and start over with new house rules and expectations, and very specific consequences for those actions (like what happens when he eats something he should not, what happens when he lies to your face, what happens when he doesn't do specific chores, etc.). That in combination with therapy may over time change his behavior as it won't be a battle all the time, just cause and effect. [/quote]

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