Reply to Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out

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Reply to "Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to lose my mind. SHe expressed interest in finding a new job. I send jobs, just now I showed her a few. Every single one- there was an excuse. Why that org is bad, why this wouldn't work, etc. Everything is an excuse. She criticizes my approach- says that networking is better than blindly applying. Yet she is doing neither. She asked if I could help her edit her networking list. I said sure! Let's pull it up now. We started to talk about it, now she doesn't want to deal with it because she will have to get out her laptop. There is food on the floor from the kids' breakfast. I cooked the breakfast, I fed the kids. ANd now I will sweep up the floor while she sulks and sits. This is my every day.[/quote]

OP, respectfully, you are also in a cognitive rut. Your wife has a mental illness that is not adequately treated. EVERY suggestion like this you make will not work because she has a mental illness that is not adequately treated. Your only goals at this point should be 1) getting a therapist for yourself, because you can control that and 2) trying to get her back to a psychiatrist for a medication adjustment, even though you cannot make her go, and 3) encouraging her to go back to therapy, although you cannot make her go.

After you meet with your therapist, you can create other goals. Decide what you are able to live with, and what kind of ultimatums you will give your wife, and what steps you will take if she cannot meet them.

Right now all you are doing is spinning your wheels, thinking about how awful your situation is. It is awful. There is no easy fix. Ruminating about that is not going to help. Take steps for yourself, that is all you can do.[/quote]

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