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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I am glad that you understand this. Most DCUM sexless wives don't get it, denying the reality that 100% of men in a sexless marriage are getting it elsewhere.
For men, sexless marriage == dead marriage == DADT open marriage. All of these are equivalent.[/quote]

This just isn't true.  I'm not saying this as an angry female poster.  I'm a man in a dead bedroom.  I'm not getting sex anywhere else.

I'd love to be able to claim that this is the result of some high-minded nobility in me, but the truth is that being in a dead bedroom has ground my self-esteem to dust. The idea of finding a willing partner and then being vulnerable enough to have sex with her considering that my current partner would presumably rather jam a ballpoint pen into her eye socket seems remote to me.

I recognize that I don't speak for all men in dead bedrooms.  I'm sure some men maintain a strong sense of self and a healthy self-regard for their own sexual prowess and lovability.  But I've been on enough DB forums to know that I'm also not all that uncommon.  A healthy cohort of men in DB relationships has had limited experience before their current relationship.  Maybe they were raised religious.  Maybe, like me, they were just not very socially adept.  Maybe they have PE or are otherwise convinced they're a lousy lay.

And, yeah, the answer to that is probably for me and guys like me to work on ourselves.  But that can be challenging for many of the same reasons that the bedroom may have died in the first place.  [/quote]

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