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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Well, this blew up in a way that I did not expect - though I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Step moms definitely get their fair amount of flak on this forum.

There are a couple of things I'd like to share - first about why I am on this forum in particular, and second about my perception of gratitude.

There are a couple of other forums out there that are step mom specific - and I generally find them to be pretty negative and unhelpful. Sure, if I just wanted to have others "validate" (more like commiserate with) the fact that I "don't like my step kids", my step kids are "entitled brats", the biomom is "toxic and alienating" I could just post in those spaces. But that is not what I want, so I don't use them as a resource.

DCUM is not an easy space to be in as a step mom. But I DO find value here - even if it's sometimes hard to read. I don't personally think I am am evil step mom personified, and DH says I do and care a lot for his kids. Is it a struggle a LOT of the time? Yes, but as everyone likes to point out, this is what I signed up for. So I come here, doing my best to navigate what is a less than optimal situation. I think many of us find that to be the case in our lives, in one regard or another.

Now, about gratitude...

I just replied thank you to a poster who agrees that saying thank you for a movie is not an unrealistic expectation - but I am more struck by the number of parents posting here who think that this is NOT something to express gratitude for.

In my mind, expressing gratitude to family members - even/particularly for the small stuff - is basic. It is the thing that teaches us how to be grateful and gracious with others. DH and I model this in our home. We thank each other for cooking, for putting away the dishes, for doing the laundry - as well as when one of us takes the other out to dinner, or to an event.

I'm kind of shocked at how many people don't think this is important - but I guess we can agree to disagree.

Now that I am writing, there are a couple of other things that were in this thread...

To the point of these kids being from a split home - I'm sorry, but that is an excuse. I am the child of parents who were functional drug addicts. My childhood was a roller coaster of highs and lows, quite literally. Similarly, there are plenty of people in this world who are from less than ideal situations - and they can still manage to be grateful. We all face adversity - many of us in our formative years - but that doesn't give us free rein to sh** on people.

And, there seems to be an assumption that these are young kids, which they are not. They are early/mid teens. And, yeah, yeah, I know, teens are self absorbed, etc. etc. 
That's all well and good - but it does not excuse them from having, and using, some manners, either. [/quote]

Find the other thread about 26 yr old DSS. You are in that road. Why do you care so much about this and Dad doesn’t? You are trying to cause an issue/strife/etc. StemMom’s gonna Step, I guess? Not a way to build loving relationships. [/quote]

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