Reply to Mental Load — All the Rage says men just flit it all away

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[quote=Anonymous]Honestly, I think women end up being the default parent in part because we don't entirely trust our partners to do it and we'd rather just make sure that it gets done vs. taking a chance and having things fall through the cracks.  It's annoying but that's life.

In my case, I'm co-parenting with a guy who has inattentive ADD.  I'm an organized person by nature, so I end up carrying 100% of the organizational load for our daughter.  By that I mean I am responsible for finding and signing up for: school, every extracurricular (5 sports teams, 1 choir, 1 dance class, swim lessons, etc.), doctor's/dentist appts, haircuts, immunizations, parent teacher conferences, all school events, summer camp signups, extended day, figuring out coverage of every school holiday, funding her lunch account... it goes on.

The handful of times I've delegated something to him, like a doctor's appointment, I'll literally email, call AND text him all the details, and I will still get a call 10 minutes after the appointment was supposed to start, asking me when the appointment time is again.  So anything important is on me.  I can guarantee that if I told him he needed to be online at 7:00 a.m. to sign her up for camp or a round of swim lessons, he would not remember and she'd miss out.  Easier just to do it myself.

I delegate stuff to him like letting him buy a winter coat or a halloween costume or new soccer cleats, etc.

Our daughter was an "oops" so I can't honestly say I would have had a baby with him knowing it.  That said, he's a good dad for the most part, and our kid is smart and funny, two traits she gets in part from him.[/quote]

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