Reply to Mental Load — All the Rage says men just flit it all away

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[quote=Anonymous]Here is an example:

We are staying with relatives right now.  I have one child who sets the bed sometimes, and I knew he was at risk for it last night since we got in late.  I gave him some DDAVP.  This morning, I went to check, and he had not wet the bed.  But if he had, I would have had him help me strip the sheets and throw them in the wash, changed the laundry, and put everything back on the bed.  In order to do this, I had to:
- notice there was a problem with bedwetting
- schedule pediatrician appointment 
- take kid to appointment 
- pick up script
- notice what factors make him more likely to wet the bed
- give him med when those factors are in place
- check to make sure med worked
- have a reasonable plan in place if it didn’t work

Now, I could delegate any of these tasks to DH, and I probably did.  But most of the “work” was mental and invisible.  And there are dozens of these kinds of things every day.

It’s not just picking up diapers, it’s knowing when you are going to run out, what size to get, when to switch to the next bigger one, what brand works, whether or not you should still be getting diapers or if it’s time to potty train.

And it’s not just making dinner, it’s having an established routine that includes dinner time; making sure that you have pots, pans, dishes, glasses, and flatware, in your home, clean, and ready to use; planning a nutritious meal that appeals to adults and kids with at least one thing the toddler will definitely eat; making sure said meal can be prepared and eaten in the time you have between getting home and sports practice; grocery shopping; and clean-up.

It’s a lot.  And it’s nearly impossible to get it all done without thinking about it at least some of the time while I am at work.

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