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[quote=Anonymous]Here's the problem.  With big families, you can't schedule around one or two.  You schedule when you can and as best you can to avoid other conflicts.

Handling the individual conflicts is up to you, the parents.  It is your responsibility to do whatever you need to do to ensure that your children and their welfare is taken into account, not the hosts.  It's nice if they do, but not their issue.  When I was in those situations (the only difference is I have twins instead of 2 separate ages), I always made sure that I had a car.  We arrived and left events when we could.  I made sure to plan my children's meals around their schedule; I flexed it when I could, but I didn't depend on others to accommodate my children, I did that.  So, when the family was doing dinner late, I stopped and got my children dinner before so that they had eaten and were not going into low sugar tantrum mode.  When events ran late, we stayed as long as we could.  I packed PJs and the parent whose family was celebrating, stayed and socialized.  The other parent took the kids into the bathroom and got them dressed in PJs and ready for bed.  Then we went back and the kids participated until we saw the warning signs of exhaustion and then made our apologies and took them to the car.  The bonus was that they usually fell asleep on the way back to the hotel and we carried them or put them into the double stroller to get back up to the room and put them to bed.

We participated as much as the kids would allow and then we made our apologies and then took care of our children.  Not anyone else's responsibilities or problem.  We didn't ask anyone to make allowances, we made all the allowances for our and our children's individual needs and did the best we could.[/quote]

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