Reply to DIL won't let me do anything for her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be like your DIL. I have gotten to the point where I just realize that my MIL and I will never have the relationship I have with my mom or family members. It sucks because I live near my in laws and not my mom but we are having a baby in the summer and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable with my mother in law doing any chores around the house. My mom on the other hand will be put to work. [/quote]

You can have that relationship.  You choose not to.[/quote]

Wrong. both people have to chose the relationship. My MIL has never treated me like she would her daughter. I have been married for 7 years and it take two to build that kind of relationship. If she wanted it, she could have invested in building that kind of unconditional love early on so that I could feel that I could actually ask her for help if I needed it. I don't feel that I have unconditional love in that relationship and when you are having a baby (a super vulnerable time) you want to be around someone that will help and support you even in the darkest time not someone you feel will secretly judge you. [/quote]

You are not her daughter.  It takes two to build that relationship and you clearly state that you didn't try either.  It took me a few years to build a relationship with my MIL.  She got burned badly by my SIL and my husband's ex-wife.  She was a lovely woman.[/quote]

NP. Most of us are first wives. Some of were treated like crap on the front end when MIL thought she could run us off, and it’s only now that MIL has no more leverage (her son sees her actions for what they are) that she wants to be buds. [/quote]

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