Reply to Considering getting my parents an apartment in the same building as me...am I crazy?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Considering getting my parents an apartment in the same building as me...am I crazy?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my parents' condo complex I can think of at least 3 family groups where the parent/s and at least one child live in the same building or adjacent building.  These are people I only know from happenstance, like we meet in the elevator, so I can imagine that the actual percentage is pretty high.  There also are a lot of siblings who live in adjacent condos.  To my knowledge there also area  lot of arrangements where a parent and child are sharing a condo.

[b]I think this works for people who have good relationships.  They may not be perfect relationships but the people tolerate each others' idiosyncrasies and give each other the latitude to be a little weird (because, frankly, we're all a little weird).  The poster who keeps saying it is[b] "unhealthy" obviously has some mental health issues herself so it would not be a good arrangement for her.  [/b]
[/b]
I would do it, OP.  My FIL lives with us and it has been a wonderful experience.[/quote]

I agree with all of this. OP sounds like she has a good understanding of the family dynamic. I think it could make her life a lot easier.[/quote]

It's easy to judge when you haven't experienced what dementia does to some people. May you never have to experience the all out abuse a senior with a horrid form of dementia who used to be kind can dole out to those there for her most. Of course if you did experience it my guess it you would not be so quick to label the victim as having mental health issues. Karma is a bitch.[/quote]

My FIL has dementia and he lives with us.  He has lived with us for 3-4 years now.  I absolutely do know what it is like.  I can tell you that your perspective is skewed and the PP is probably right that you -do- have your own mental health issues.  Stop projecting and start working on fixing your own problems.

The addition of my FIL to our household has been the greatest joy to us.  He enriches our lives daily.  Have we had to make accommodations?  Certainly.  Have we had to make changes to our lives to ensure that he is healthy, happy and comfortable?  Again, certainly.  Yet we wouldn't change the experience for the world.  We and our children are blessed by his proximity and every day we are thankful that we made the decisions we did.

I think the only "victim" in your drama is the poor person with dementia who has to tolerate you and your intolerance.  Get help.  Seriously.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics