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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I exaggerated with the $200k but he set a 100k budget. I want to spend closer to $50k. It is mostly his money, but it will become ours once we get married. He did buy me a nice ring, but I didn’t ask for a large or expensive one ( 2 carat round pave diamond likely around $20-25k). We both make good money ( me $120k, him $200k) but I still think $100k is a waste. We will be married at a church and he wants to go big for the reception. He is talking about inviting people he barely knows that are friends of friends. He doesn’t spend large amounts on items, but he does like nice things. I’m much more frugal and like to save. We have enough money for both a wedding and a down payment, but we want two kids quickly after the wedding. It will be expensive. [/quote]

We made the same as you when we married 10 years ago. I wanted a small wedding (50) he wanted 120 people. It was very upsetting. I told him to pay for his guests and I would pay for mine. I was not happy with the wedding as I had 30 people and the rest were his. It felt like his wedding. We spent 25k in CT outside of NYC. You do not need to spend more than 40k on a nice wedding. I personally would not. We are getting a divorce. The fighting over every tiny wedding decision should have been a red flag that my desires did not matter on any decision. I had doubts but blamed it on the stress of the wedding.

If he insists, make him pay for the headcount of his guests. But make sure you are getting your way on other decisions. Otherwise, you might not be in for a good marriage. FWIW, my ring was 14k and we paid for the wedding ourselves. No debt. I wish we had never done it at all. Waste of money.[/quote]

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