Reply to Neighbors/friends taking advantage of us/our nannies

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Reply to "Neighbors/friends taking advantage of us/our nannies"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“Hey Larla, Jenny just told me that you asked her to be her nanny in the mornings. Why would you do that to us? You know we need her 1-2 mornings a week. I was okay with you offering her jobs here and there when you’re stuck for a sitter and can’t find someone of your own, but if you try to poach one of our girls again then i have to be honest that it would affect our friendship. I worked really hard to find these girls and vet them thoroughly, which takes time and energy that I’m already not spending with the kids, it’s upsetting that you’d try to take advantage of us like that.”

“I’m also going to need to ask that you don’t send Miss 3 over here any more without checking with us first. We love her as you know but preschoolers take a lot of supervision and we’re going to be doing things a bit differently around here from now on.”[/quote]

This is great advice if you want to live next door to a family that you used to be friendly with but not stops chatting with the other neighbors and smiles in a pained way as you drive in or out of the driveway or walk by. Bad, bad advice. OP said they were friends. They don't realize how their behavior is affecting her. At least give OP advice that will not make HER be the bitch.[/quote]

Agree. Some of you are so worried about not being “taken advantage of” that you’re willing to end good relationships! OP, have you actually asked your kids and nannies how they feel about the daily play? Because it sounds awesome to me! Kids get to hang out, nanny doesn’t have to put in too much effort to entertain them and can chill. As long as the playroom is safe, there’s no need to keep her eyes glued to the 2yo. She can even browse on her phone sometimes. This stage will be over pretty soon. The 6yo will get busy in activities and not want to play with the 2yo as much. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Re: poaching, that is an issue, but it sounds like the family was thoughtless and agreed to contact you first after you confronted them. That’s not bad.[/quote]

It's not a "good relationship" if someone literally dumps their kids on your doorstep every day (a 6 year old and a 3 YEAR OLD!) and says "here, watch them" and if you don't have time to watch them then you need to pay for someone to mind ALL the kids yourself because they refuse to chip in half, and if the kids play over at their house then they're essentially unsupervised the whole time unless OP sends over the carer that she pays for herself. And then to make matters worse, the babysitter sees the other family as a client too, just on different days, and the situation is muddy enough that she no longer has a clear allegiance and OP can't be sure that she's looking after her kids' interests at all times. I wouldn't call that a good relationship at all. In fact, it's hell.

I would actually forbid my babysitters/nannies to have any of the neighbors as clients and I'd flatly refuse to give out the nannies' numbers to the neighbors if they asked. It's just not fair that you always need to wonder whose kids your nanny is really looking after when she's with them.[/quote]

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