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Reply to "Daughter is daughter for life... son until marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are no longer the most important woman in your son’s life. You remain the most important woman in your daughters life. [/quote] You win, this right here sums it up perfectiy.[/quote] Ok but can't he still remain her son? [/quote] Of course he does but it seems the MIL's don't think so and start acting in a competitive way. I'm not sure what drives the fear but the trouble in my experience mostly starts with the MIL. This saying isn't true in our family. I'm not close to my MIL after horrendous treatment in the beginning but my DH is still very close to her. I have never interred in their relationship although my MIL has tried to interfere in our marriage, including lying about me. I have found that if a mother says that she is close with her son then trouble will follow after the marriage. There seems to be a fear that things will change or the son will be more distant or she can't let go of being her son's main influence. DH handles all communication with her including gifts. We don't do dinners, vacations or holidays with them though. We would have if MIL hadn't been so nasty in the beginning, it set up a very tense relationship that never recovered. BIL doesn't have anything to do with MIL or FIL. However his wife, so their DIL has been very good with seeing them often and taking the grandchildren to see them. I think times have changed where women are expecting men to handle their own family relationships, I think this will continue to be the way it is now that women are working and don't have as much time and energy to take on all the responsibility. So if the son isn't interested then that's on him, take it up with him, it's not on your DIL to force relationships. How many men facilitate the relationship between their wife and MIL, practically none, they aren't blamed if there isn't a visit or gift, I think older women will have to accept that times have changed.[/quote]
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