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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I dunno. I have an almost 3.5 year old and a 1 year old. I’m finding this excruciating. I actually think life was easier when the baby was only 8 months old. It’s getting harder as time goes on and baby is more and more mobile and demanding for interaction.

I honestly straight up hate my life. There is so much screaming. I adore my youngest but yearn for when we only had 1.

I guess I think anyone who chooses a 3rd is insane, to an extent.[/quote]

*sobs* I have an 8 month old and a 3 year old and I thought we were past the hardest part *sobs*[/quote]

Uh, mom of a middle schooler here and I can assure you that you have not scratched the surface of hard yet. Sorry.[/quote]

I mean, my stretches of sleep have extended from 1.5 hours at a time to 3 hours at a time and that has been life changing.... hopefully you at least sleep better than I do? I feel like I could conquer the world if I could get one decent night of sleep.... [/quote]

This.  The people who say "It only gets harder!" either had unusually good unicorn babies, or are delusional, or have something going REALLY wrong with their middle-schooler.  My kid is 7 and although parenting is harder in some ways (mostly I worry more as he becomes more independent and social stuff is so important) it is NOTHING like having a newborn, going back to work with a baby that wakes 2x/night and trying to pump, a 1 year old who is sick every 3 weeks, being constantly on for a toddler  ... And I only have an only child, so I can't imagine the hell of having another baby while you have a toddler or preschooler!    I do remember a period where my child was a toddler and still required constant oversight (and my sleep was frequently disrupted due to sickness) when I felt like "yeah, this is HARDER than a newborn, just based on it NEVER STOPPING!"  But to say that having an independent older child who can dress themselves, go to the bathroom, entertain themselves for stretches of time, and even start doing meaningful chores is harder than a baby, is just delusional. [/quote]

My babies weren’t unicorns, they were sleep trained, 7p-7a by 6 months.And my middle schooler seems fairly typical based on my observations.[/quote]

Um, a baby that STT for 12 hours from 6 months on is a unicorn.  And before you accuse me of not sleep training, we did.  We just never got a long sleeper (never more than 8-6) and he was sick constantly in a way that interrupted everyone's sleep.

Can you explain exactly what you find harder about your middle schooler, as well as a breakdown of the time you spend with your babies and toddlers, and that you spend now with your middle schooler? It just seems physically impossible that you would not have more leisure time/less stressful childcare tasks now.  [/quote]

I obviously have slightly more leisure time now, although less than you might think.. What I find harder: social drama/“coolness”, cellphones and apps and screentime and what’s allowed and what isn’t and what so-and-so’s mom lets her do. Also bedtimes are way later (my quiet evenings are long gone) and I spend way more time in my car driving to/from activities. Also the schedules of the activities are longer/more intense and I have no control over last minute practices, etc. We are about to enter issues with the opposite sex, etc. Everything is a constant negotiation for more and more independence and fewer rules. Give me a poopy sleep-deprived 3 year old All.Day.Long.[/quote]

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