Reply to Does the Husband backing off and giving space help

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[quote=Anonymous]I guess this doesn’t seem crazy to me.  We are projecting a lot here, and my guess is that OP
Is already doing a lot of these things.  But calling this list unsustainable is ridiculous.  Almost all of these things are things a decent person would do for any family member, even if you aren’t planning on sleeping with them.

If she has 10 million things to do, then find 1 million where you can help out or tell her that it just doesn’t need done and take it off the list.  Maybe the kids don’t need to learn the piano, or if they do, they don’t have to do the recitals.  Maybe all extended family gets flowers for Christmas this year, and you sit and order them right now and it’s done.

Changing the structure of your life also seems absolutely reasonable if you are miserable.  Who doesn’t decide they are going to get up an hour earlier and work out every morning if they miss it?  Or that they are going to look for a job closer to home if the commute is too long?  In this case, maybe taking the kids to get groceries and wash the car every Sunday so she has time alone.  Or taking your shower at night so she has a few minutes alone to unwind after kids are in bed, and then you can talk to her.

Hiring help if you feel overworked or overwhelmed also seems reasonable.

Taking other duties off her plate also just doesn’t seem crazy to me.  The kids belong to both parents.  Kids do well when they have an involved father in their lives.  This is something OP should just do to be a good dad, not because he thinks it will result in sex.  [/quote]

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