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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me to keep a high drive i NEED NEED NEED down time to myself. Not being a wife. Not being a mom. Not thinking about the needs of other people in my life. Just to be me. The brave, confident, sexual woman that i was when i was single that is still in there but is hidden by the many hats i have to wear everyday. 
If my DH wasn't pulling his weight in our family (and that can mean different things for different people at different times of their lives); if he expected me to cook, clean, care for kids, take care of my mom, walk the dog and put them to be only to walk up to bed and then worry about his needs? Um nope. Non starter there.

With some down time to myself and me doing the things I enjoy i can tap into and wear the hat of 'woman' which is what I need to keep my drive up.

So many men want women to just keep giving without understanding that there may be nothing left to give. Or they wear so many hats on top of each other that she can't even see or find the 'sexual woman' hat if you don't allow her to do what she needs to find it.[/quote]

In my situation, it would not matter how much of the load I shouldered. There is no way my wife would set the kinds of boundaries she needed to maintain downtime that turned her into a sexual being. She's just not that interested in the subject. The world has an infinite number of things that could occupy her time. Even if I spent 24/7 doing things she wanted done, she'd find more things to fill her schedule with. Jumping my bones would not be anywhere on that list.

This is why "give her downtime" seems like such an unlikely fix to me. I know situations differ, but I'll bet there are lots of people in my situation.[/quote]

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