Reply to Wife will not plan....and does not want to deal with the consiquences

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since this is a long running issue, not just something with this particular instance, if this is an avoidance thing, it's about travel in general, rather than this particular thing, but I doubt that's it. OP, is she bad at organization and managing time in general? There's not enough information here, but between the unwillingness to plan and what sounds like a little bit of impulsivity, that sort of sounds like ADHD to me. My husband (who also has ADHD) both won't plan things like this, gets kind of overwhelmed by the advanced details and gets anxious about nailing down a plan he has to commit to (because then it's a thing he has to plan around). The avoidance has nothing to do with not wanting to do the thing. And, he will sometimes bitch about all the other things he's working through around it--but, again, this is because having an unusual, non-negotiable thing to plan around stresses him out; once we're doing the plans, he's all in.

You're not going to be able to change her--if she won't allow you to just do the planning, I think you're going to have to change the approach. Like, don't assume you're going to be able to get her just spontaneously discuss what to do. Make an advance household appointment to go through the options with her and make decisions and make the purchases/deposits right then and there while she's with you and hold her to the appointment to make the plans. If she refuses, then you might have to tell her that she then loses the right to complain about what plans you make. I mean, it sounds harsh but it's not fair to the rest of the family that her unwillingness to plan makes everyone else suffer. She can use her words like a grownup if she has other issues with the travel.

And, of course, you should go to your child's competition. She's being ridiculous by implying you shouldn't be there.

[/quote]

Totally this.  Not enough executive function skills to handle it.[/quote]

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