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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of you guys really are awful. I know my kid and you don’t. I’m asking for help to unspoil him. Some here said give him close to nothing and that’s how I’m leaning. It’s not just about the birthday, but in general. He keeps chasing money and material items. And is never satisfied.

He wants the trip, because in order to engage in his hobby, we have to travel. We can’t do it here. I’m not doing any of this for me. I hate his hobby. I must be present for him to do it (safety), so I do it. His father is physically incapable of doing it, so it’s all me.

I am trying to figure out how to instill the concept of gratitude —  you are a happier person when you appreciate what you have and aren’t always striving for more more more. And he’s obviously not a happy child.  I’m looking at the long game of trying to build a happy, resilient person. I’ve screwed up somewhere and I’m trying to fix it.

He’s in a new school, and doesn’t have any close friends yet. Certainly none whose parents know me well enough to take their kid somewhere. I don’t even know if he’s got someone to go trick or treating with.   The trip idea, in part, is to downplay that he doesn’t have friends yet, here, who he can invite to something. So I’m it. He’s stuck with me. I’m working with that and a budget.  I’ve offered going to a Maryland basketball game, stuff like that. Nope. The trip is what piqued is interest. He just wants all sorts of conditions.
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Don't punish him by getting him hardly anything - if he wants the trip to do his hobby not sure why he'd be upset that it cuts into the gift giving budget. So do the birthday trip (maybe his friend could come?) and also a couple of gifts that he wants. Reasonable gift giving, not over-the-top and not nothing at all. That's all you can do - and if he is ungrateful you must have a stern conversation with him and explain that you are disappointed that he expects so much.[/quote]

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