Reply to Tween not invited by friends to trick or treat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does she only have one group of friends?  She should have school friends, neighborhood friends, camp friends, friends from different after-school activities, etc.

And why can't she just say "Hey can I come?" to her school friends?  Teach her not to stand on ceremony, and to expect the best. Maybe they just figured she'd want to do stuff in her own neighborhood.[/quote]

Uh no, it's actually poor social skills to invite yourself along. Sometimes friends need breaks from eachother or they just prefer to keep things simple and go with neighbors.[/quote]

Exactly.  It is terrible advice to ask your kid to insert herself where she wasn't invited and to "expect the best."  Tweens aren't excluding someone because they have the foresight to think she is doing something in her own neighborhood.  We are hosting a halloween get together for our kids and certain friends but because all my kids got to invite friends, we can't invite everyone, so they picked kids to invite.  From here, they will trick or treat.  Them's the breaks.  One kid asked my kid if she could come but she could not (my kid did not want her there) and it was very awkward for her.  She tried to be polite and explained it away as a non hurtful excuse but the kid didn't get it and kept saying she didn't mind, etc.  This isn't like a birthday party at home where I can say the more the merrier.  We have finite space and are doing a quick dinner here before the kids go out.[/quote]

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