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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to constructively have The Conversation.

I agree with PPs that it might just make him go underground, however; it *sounds like* the beginning of the affair...the crush stage, where nothing sexual has happened yet (except in the DH's mind).

So the best chance to save the situation is to get to it now, nipping it in the bud.  Because if you wait and wait, snooping more to gather more evidence, all the while their relationship is getting more and more serious and there is more chance that the actual physical affair may start.[/quote]

Hi - curious if this poster has personal experience with cheating spouses.  I desperately want to get this out in the open.  But so scared to drive it underground.  Or just to not get to the bottom of the real issue.  I could see DH apologizing and falling back in line after we talk, but does this address the problems or feelings that drove him to this behavior and hiding from me...

[b]It’s killing me knowing but being afraid to confront him over it. [/b] [/quote]

Trust me, been there, done that.  The waiting and not confronting is the worst but it is absolutely necessary if you ever want to learn the truth.  You may continue to monitor and learn there is nothing to worry about.  Wouldn't that be the best feeling? However, [i]if [/i]there is something to worry about, the ONLY way you will ever know the full story is by keeping what you know a secret for now and discovering it on your own.  If there is something to hide, your husband will NEVER confess to the full story.  Ever.

You have to find the patience deep inside or you will never know. [/quote]

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