Reply to SAHM of teens — Crucial responsibilities

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DP here.

I am so sick and tired of seeing the same arguments on DCUM. have high achieving, self motivated, independent kids in highly selective STEM magnet programs in public high school. We are DC MC, 300k HHI, have retirement and college squared away.

DH and I are in agreement that with this kind of affluence (maybe in our own mind...since we are not wearing Prada), our teens are better served to have a highly educated mom available to them 24/7.

A lot of parents work very hard and I am very impressed with them. I have a cushy life and my kids and family get me as their support. I am lucky that my stress level is low and that I am ok financially. I do not need to be super rich with lots of money and very little time. I am ok with a comfortable lifestyle with ample time and a MC lifestyle. Maybe I do not have any ambition. I have my hobbies and causes, and only the people who don't know me are flapping their hands that I need to find my calling. My calling is to be able to leverage the money that my DH earns and build a comfortable, balanced and secure life for my family.

Do my kids need me? Yup. Without a doubt. More now than when they were babies? Well,  I am not changing their diapers or nursing them on demand, but it has given them an edge to have an educated personal assistant on their beck and call, so that they are on the straight and narrow, secure and healthy, and meeting their social, emotional, health, academic goals. Yes, we are doing everything by ourselves and not paying money to get admitted to elite colleges, but, so what? We are immigrants, Asians, no hook, not legacy, but we are educated, with intact family, without health problems and can figure out the rest of things if we continue to be lucky.

If you and your kids do not need a parent at home then good for you. Maybe,  most of you are super parents who can do it all? Great marriages, great health, great high achieving straight A kids, super organized homes, pillars of society, amazing careers where you are indispensable, high earners, globe trotting influencers and Illuminati? I am neither that high energy nor that ambitious for myself or my kids.[/quote]

You do not have to mock parents who work, idiot. Your last paragraph sucks. With this attitude your kids are not going to be unscathed. [/quote]

No one is mocking anyone. I know people who are all of these things. Friends who have their own Wikipedia pages; CEOs of companies; and people  who really love and enjoy their lives and their career. They are ambitious and high energy. They feel their lives are balanced based on their needs and priorities.  Their idea of balance may not be my idea of balance, their journey may not be my journey  and if all of that is true, how can I be envious of them?   I am not them, I do not have their drive, I am perfectly fine taking a nap on the weekend and then watching a movie.  I love my life.   And frankly, they are actually the last people who will get into the SAHM/WOHM debate or parenting debate, since they are too busy living their lives as 1%ers.

For my own  life, I had valued living a normal and average life, that was balanced and happy, where I could afford my present and future. I feel that I got more than that because I never thought out HHI will ever cross more than 100K, never thought we will have kids, never thought we will be living in the US. So at 350K, we feel rich. We feel blessed to give our children a relaxed home environment because we feel that their academic life and the modern life is hard enough, and they need a safe harbor and support at home. Will that serve them or hamper them? Who knows?  Most of us are doing the best, with the circumstances that we have been given.  If I have more than what I thought I would ever have - I owe it to the  higher power be thankful and be grateful.

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